


A Secret Well Kept

by twdeadfanfic



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I wanted to explore Daryl's feelings when he arrives at alexandria, Insecure Daryl, Past Abuse Mention, and this request allowed me to do so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 11:33:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20081509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twdeadfanfic/pseuds/twdeadfanfic
Summary: The reader has two scecrets. A small one, her crush on Daryl. A big one, the abuse he endured at the hands of her parents. On his side, and after just having arrived at Alexandria, Daryl’s not doing good, making him snap easily. Dyring a fight between him and the reader, some secrets are going to slip. Inspire by a request asking me to write a reader with abusive parents.





	A Secret Well Kept

You leaned over the railing of the stairs at the porch of your new house looking around. You still couldn’t believe it, this suburban area in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by lands and lands razed by walkers, the beautiful, stunning houses, the gardens and green areas, everything surrounded by tall, sturdy walls.

Alexandria was strange but incredible, and you loved it. It was safe, it had supplies, and it was everything you could have hoped for after losing the prison, everything you all deserved after all you had gone through, this paradise right when you had been thinking you all were going to die out there without shelter or supplies.

The people were a bit strange too and you knew it would take a little bit for you to get used to them and maybe make new friends, but that was probably due to being with the same people for so long and developing such a deep level of trust and care as you had with them, more than to the Alexandrians not being good people. If only, they were a bit naïve, as it seemed most of them didn’t really realize how the world was outside the walls, and most of them probably wouldn’t survive. But most of you had been like that at some point too, and so you didn’t judge. Rick would make sure they’d learn.

All your friends had gone out of the house already, some to explore the place, others to get to know some of the people, and others to talk to Deanna, the leader of the place. There was someone, though, who was still there, and who didn’t seem to have any interest in getting to know nor the place neither the people.

Daryl was sat down on the floor at the other end of the porch, fumbling with his crossbow. Since arriving in Alexandria he was all surly and taciturn, it seemed he didn’t like the place, didn’t trust it either its people. He seemed so miserable that it made your heart hurt.

Daryl Dixon and you had become good friends during the months and months you had known each other, even though when you’d met him you’d been sure he wouldn’t want anything to do with you, surprised that he didn’t straight hate you, same with the rest of his group. You’d come from Woodbury, rescued by Rick after the Governor went nuts, and you had been taken in into the prison that was the home of that new group.

You had expected to be hated, mistrusted, anything along those lines, but they all had welcomed you in, had treated you right, and even though it had taken a while, most of you have become friends, good friends, and the people who had come from Woodbury got totally integrated in that prison, that slowly welcomed more and more people that were found in need.

Still, you had felt like you needed to repay them, and so you had joined every possible run. At first you weren’t very good at it, though, after having been sheltered first in a military camp, soon after in Woodbury, and so when you weren’t in a run, you trained your ass off with guns, knives, and everything you could think of. Somehow, you managed to avoid being killed during runs, probably more thanks to all of you taking care of each other than to your own ability, but slowly, you got good at it.

Daryl always went to all the runs too, and that’s how you got to know him more, surprised to find that despite being quiet, kind of a loner, sometimes harsh, he was actually one of the best people you’d ever met. He cared deeply for everyone in that prison, and he always made sure everyone and everything was alright. He didn’t mind facing five walkers alone if that meant protecting someone else, and he didn’t think it twice about taking the most dangerous tasks himself. He’d helped you during runs since you’d joined them, and you learned a lot by just looking at him.

Soon you’d decided you wanted to be not only his friend but a good one. It was a slow process, not an easy one, but slowly you earned Daryl’s trust and friendship, getting to know him quite good, your friendship reaching a level deeper than what you could have hoped for, and you were immensely grateful for it. You ended up caring deeply for Daryl, and if the way in which he always made sure you were alright was a clue, he cared for you too, he showed it in his own way.

The dark days you had passed with him and Beth after the prison fell had only made you two closer, with you and Beth trying to keep hopes high no matter Daryl’s mood, but with him reassuring you how it was not your fault, when you had been feeling beyond guilty for what the Governor had done. You wished you could have done the same for Daryl, but to this day, you were still sure he kept beating himself about it. Then, when you both lost Beth, you had another thing in common to blame yourselves, both of you trying to take the blame out of each other without really succeeding. And then he’d protected you from that horrible group of men who found you both, who tried to claim you as if you were just a thing, making them go for him, but fighting back to back you both had gotten yourselves out of the mess, found the others, escaped Terminus, mourned Beth with guilt eating you both again, and so on and so on…

Those had been dark, dark days, but somehow your relationship grew stronger and deeper thanks to it.

You were proud you had managed to get such a deep friendship with Daryl, but that didn’t mean you hadn’t wished for more, and you had been crushing on him. He was brave, resourceful, kind-hearted…and you weren’t blind, he was really attractive. You couldn’t stop yourself from falling for him.

You never said anything to him, though. You weren’t sure he’d have feelings like that for you, he was kind to you, shared things with you that didn’t with someone else besides maybe Carol and Rick, and he was affectionate in his own way, but that didn’t mean he wanted to take your relationship to another level.

Daryl didn’t seem one for romantic relationships, he’d never talked about any previous one to you, or had seemed interested in someone like that. Even if he were, you weren’t sure at all Daryl might look at you like that, and since you didn’t want to make things awkward or lose his friendship, you never said anything.

Still, you couldn’t help the way in which your heart fluttered sometimes when you were with him, getting crazy when he smiled, the way in which it beat fast and scared when he was in danger, or the way in which it hurt when he wasn’t feeling good. Like right now.

You closed the steps that separated you from Daryl and flopped down on the ground next to him. He didn’t say anything or looked at you, still fumbling with his crossbow. Without a word, you leaned closer and kissed his cheek. Daryl scoffed, rolling his eyes, but you didn’t miss the way in which the corner of his mouth lifted ever so slightly into a tiny, half-smile.

The first times you had dared to do that, Daryl had turned all awkward and confused, had even flinched away, but then he’d gotten used to it, and you were pretty sure he appreciated it. By now, every time you thought he was feeling down, or guilty, or worried, you would kiss his cheek as you sat down next to him in silence, letting him know that he got you, that you were there for him for everything he might need. Just like now.

“Don’t you wanna get to know the place?” You ventured after Daryl still didn’t say anything.

“Nah.” He scoffed again, eyes still in his crossbow, before looking at you. “Go, I’m good alone, no need for a babysitter or nothing.”

“I know.” You rolled your eyes and nudged him with your shoulder. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“You don’t like this place. Why? It’s safe…”

“I know it is,” Daryl grumbled.

“So?”

“So nothing.”

You knew better than to press it, not with Daryl in a mood, but still, you wished he’d share his mind with you, tell you what was wrong with him, why was he feeling as down as he seemed since arriving in Alexandria. You wanted to help him, but he didn’t seem to let you.

“Hey, you know I’m here for you…” You said softly.

“Told you nothing’s wrong, Y/N.”

“Okay…”

“You gonna go with everyone else or what?”

“No, I think I’ll have more fun here watching you hurt your fingers doing whatever you are doing to that crossbow.”

Daryl scoffed again, but once again you noticed that tiny, barely-there half a smile.

*

Something was wrong. You could hear people yelling, and as you ran to the commotion you saw Glenn getting into a fight with Deanna’s son. They had gone to a dry run, see how each other did things, get ready for a real one, and something must have gone wrong.

Rick and Daryl jumped in too, Daryl throwing another guy to the ground when he tried to go for Glenn too, punching him and punching him before Rick dragged him away. Deanna was approaching too and you ran to them to reach them before her. Daryl was trying to throw himself at the guy again and you didn’t want him to get into trouble with Deanna and so you jumped in, grabbing his arm.

“Daryl, no, stop!” He tried to shake you off but you didn’t relent, trying to drag him back. “Stop, Deanna is here. You gotta stop.”

Daryl finally pushed you off him, but he didn’t go for the guy. He looked around, scoffed, and rushed away. You ran behind him, calling his name, but he ignored you, walking faster until you finally caught up with him.

“Daryl, wait, please.”

“Leave me the hell alone!” He snapped, turning to glare at you.

“No, no I won’t.” You tried not to back down despite his anger. “Talk to me.”

“You wanna talk to me?” He scoffed. “Go back with your new friends and talk to them all you want.”

“What you saying?”

“I saw you all looking at me, like it was my fault, like I was a feral animal or something,” Daryl said as he paced around. “I should have let him beat Glenn? That’s what you want?”

“Daryl, I’m not saying that, I wasn’t looking at you like-”

“I ain’t making a good impression on this people you wanna be with?” Daryl didn’t let you finish. “You want me to be like them? Well, I ain’t!” He barked. “But bet you are really happy to be here with your new friends.”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” You tried to stay calm and not to get worked up yourself, knowing it’d only make things worse.

You had never seen Daryl this angry and you didn’t know what to do. You could see he was hurting, and you could only guess he felt you had betrayed him or turned you back on him, but you hadn’t, you had just been trying to protect him. You didn’t know how he could think that. You didn’t know how to calm him down.

“You are like these people, you belong here. You come from a place like this after all. Nice place with walls, supplies, shelter, with a Governor and a bunch of people who know nothing about the world.”

You were taken aback. Daryl had never held over you your Woodbury past, never had he said nothing like that. It hurt.

“Yes, Daryl, I did come from Woodbury, I thought we were over that.” You said through gritted teeth.

“You’re back home.” Daryl scoffed. “All sheltered and protected again with people you belong with. Bet that’s how it has been all your life. Now here, then Woodbury, and before all this you’d be in your nice neighborhood, in your nice house, with you nice family, knowing nothing about the shit of life, living in your dream, dumb world, just like you’re back to now!”

You didn’t know why Daryl was yelling all that to you, where was he getting it from, but you couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t hold back how upset you were, how it hurt, and the way in which it struck a nerve.

“I ain’t gonna listen to this bullshit anymore! What’s gotten into you?! What did I do to you?! I was just trying to help, you prick!” You snapped, feeling your eyes water. “And for the record, you aren’t the only one in the world with shitty parents!”

With that, you turned back, rushing away as fast as you could and leaving Daryl looking at you go.

*

You were sat down on the swing of the porch, watching the sun go down.

You were still upset, but you were starting to regret having yelled at Daryl about your parents. You had never talked about them to anyone. You also didn’t like you had reminded Daryl of his father. You knew about the man and the way in which he had abused Daryl, he had told you one night, and you knew not many people knew about it, so you were grateful Daryl had trusted you with it. You weren’t proud of having yelled at him about shitty parents.

But you hadn’t been able to help it, with Daryl getting so angry, yelling at you all that nonsense until he made you snap. He had started it, not you, and you were hurt and upset.

You noticed Daryl walking back to the house and you looked away, you didn’t want to see him. You hadn’t talked again after your fight. He approached you, though, sitting down at the other end of the swing, but without saying anything, and neither did you, looking away from him.

Suddenly, you felt his lips pressing the softest kiss to your cheek.

You were more than taken aback. In all the times you had kissed his cheek when you thought he wasn’t feeling good, hoping to comfort him somehow and letting him know you were there for him, he had never done it to you. You turned your head to look at him, surprised, but he was looking away.

“I’m sorry about what I said,” he finally muttered.

“I didn’t know you thought like that…” You shrugged, you were still hurt even if you also were melting at the kiss.

“I don’t,” Daryl assured you, turning to look at you.

You nodded, giving him a weak smile. You weren’t totally sure Daryl didn’t think about you the things he had said, but he was apologizing and that was enough for you, you weren’t going to doubt about forgiving him.

Daryl seemed to notice how you felt, though. “I didn’t mean those things, I don’t. I’m sorry.”

“Alright.” You nodded again, feeling a tiny bit better. “Thanks for apologizing.”

Daryl just nodded, still looking at you as if he weren’t sure you weren’t still upset with him anymore but as if he didn’t know what to do.

“What you said…about not being the only one with shitty parents…” Daryl trailed off and you let out a sigh.

“I don’t really want to talk about that…”

You knew Daryl wouldn’t push you to speak. He only nodded and both of you stayed silent, until Rick called Daryl inside to talk with him.

*

That night, as everyone slept, you noticed Daryl getting up from the windowsill where he’d perched himself again and going out. You left your spot curled with some pillows and followed him outside. He was smoking, sitting down on the stairs of the porch, and you sat down next to him. You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, a way of showing him things were good between you two, or at least you hoped so. Daryl’s lips turned into a small, half-smile, but he didn’t say anything.

“Why you won’t tell me what’s wrong?” You asked when he finished his smoke.

“There’s nothing wrong…” Daryl shrugged.

“I know there is, you can tell me…”

Daryl let out a sigh, but finally he spoke. “Is this place…I don’t belong here. I don’t fit in.” He shrugged shyly, looking away from you.

“I know the place is strange, and I know there’s a lot of new people. But you are with your family, you belong with them, you know you do.” You tried to assure him. “I know it might take a while to get used to this place and the new people, but everything is going to be okay.”

Daryl didn’t say anything to your words, but he looked at you. “You belong with us too, you know it right? Have done it for a long while now. I didn’t mean what I said before. You’re family too.”

You blinked, feeling like you might tear up at the emotion that his words gave you. You nodded, smiling at him.

“I don’t think I can be like this people…” Daryl said quietly. “And I know I don’t want to be Deanna’s dog or nothing.

“The only person you have to be like is yourself, people will see your worth.” You replied, though Daryl scoffed. “And Deanna won’t make you do anything you don’t want. Rick will make sure.” You’d make sure too, if you had too. “You’ve always been hunting for us and making sure we’re fed. You just have to keep doing that, if you want.”

Daryl nodded, giving you his small, half-smile, and for a little while none of you said anything else.

“Hey…I’m sorry I yelled at you about shitty parents, I shouldn’t have brought that up like that…” You apologized and Daryl just shrugged.

“I didn’t know you had shitty parents…” Daryl ventured a look at you as if he thought his words might upset you or made you snap. “Wouldn’t have guessed.”

“Nobody knows.” You let out a long sigh. None had ever known, not now nor in your previous life, and none had guessed it either.

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“You told me about yours.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to.”

You let out another sigh, thinking about what to do. You wondered what it would feel like to share that with someone else. Would it make you feel better? Or would you feel worse? You weren’t sure…but if there was someone to whom you might ever talk about it, that was Daryl. You trusted him, and you felt like you wanted him to know everything about you. You also knew he would understand it, in a way.

“You were right about it, I lived in a nice neighborhood, in a nice house. With parents with money and good jobs, and all that. And they were nice to everyone, but not to me.” You began telling. “They had a lot of expectations about me, about what they wanted me to be, how they wanted me to act, and what not…and whenever I didn’t live up to their expectations, they…well they didn’t like it and they were sure to discipline me.”

You gave Daryl a weak, sad smile. He wasn’t saying anything, looking at you intently, waiting for you to keep going if you wanted to, but not pushing you to keep talking. You decided to just tell him everything.

“They’d yell at me every day everything that I’ve done wrong, or how I wasn’t good enough, or the ways in which I had disappointed them that day. When I was little, they used to threaten me to send me away to a boarding school for bad girls when I misbehaved or my grades weren’t as good as they wanted them to be, and also they always threatened me saying they’d have to get rid of our dog and it’d be my fault.”

That had been cruel, and you still felt a lump in your throat. It seemed as if Daryl wanted to say something, but he didn’t, waiting until you were finished.

“They also wouldn’t feed me that day and they would lock me in a small, dark closet, even when I wasn’t that little anymore.” To this day, you still got anxiety if you had to get into small, tight places, which was inconvenient in a world where en you sometimes needed to do so in order to survive. “And then, the beatings started too…”

You didn’t say anything else, you didn’t think you needed to. You wanted to forget how your parents had terrified you and controlled your life even as an adult. The apocalypse had freed you from them, and sometimes you even thought that your life was better now that the world had ended. You never told anyone that thought, afraid they might think you crazy…maybe Daryl would understand it, but for today, you felt you had shared enough.

“I’m sorry.” You heard him whisper and you turned your head to look at him. Daryl was looking at you and seeming a bit helpless, as if he didn’t know what to do or say. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“Neither did you,” you told him with a weak smile. “But both of us are free of our shitty parents now. And we got each other so…it’s okay…” You shrugged, looking down shyly.

Daryl was still looking at you, seeming hesitant, and then he pressed a barely-there kiss to your cheek before looking away from you. Twice in a day…you couldn’t believe it…it got you smiling, no matter what.

“I’m sorry I yelled that things to you…” He murmured.

“That’s forgotten now.” You assured him.

Daryl looked at you again, giving you a small smile. You shifted closer to lean your head on his arm, smiling when Daryl shifted so you could rest your head on his shoulder and you curled up against his arm, both of you silent as you looked at the stars.

*

You woke up when the sun began to rise. You blinked your eyes open and realized you had fallen asleep curled up against Daryl’s arm, head on the crook of his shoulder. Sleeping sat down on some stairs wasn’t the better position, as your aching body reminded you, but the warmth and comfort coming from Daryl’s body made it worthy. Still, as you pulled away you couldn’t help but feel shy and selfconscious.

“Morning.” Daryl rasped.

“Morning…” You ventured a look at him, he seemed amused at you. “I’m sorry…You could have woken me up so we wouldn’t end up sleeping here…” You were sure you had fallen asleep before him, though you didn’t remember when you had done it.

“I wasn’t tired.”

“Haven’t you slept at all?” You let out a sigh when Daryl shook his head. He never got enough sleep, and now in Alexandria he slept even less. “You have to. You don’t need to be keeping watch or anything, we’re safe here, I promise you.” Daryl didn’t say anything, but he gave you a weak, half-smile. “Come on, go inside and rest.”

“I want to go hunting…” Daryl grumbled.

“You can go later, you need sleep.” You insisted. “Just a nap. You worry me, you can’t keep going like this. Please?”

Daryl let out a sigh, but finally he nodded. “Okay.”

Smiling, you got up, reaching out to take Daryl’s hand and help him up, walking with him into the house to make sure he’d rest.

*

Later that day, you were getting ready in a rush. Deanna was hosting a party and you had planned on going, but you had come back home later than you had planned after having spent most of the afternoon talking with a nice girl you had met, called Denise. She was studying to be a doctor, and you’d been training with Hershel too, so you had been talking to Denise about joining her. Now you needed to tell Deanna, see if it was okay with her, and if the doctor of the community would allow you.

Everyone else had already left the house to the party, and as you rushed out, you found Daryl sitting down on the stairs of the porch. You noticed he was wearing different clothes, cleaner and without any rip, and his hair was cleaner too, looking soft. You wondered if he was going to Deanna’s party too, you thought he wasn’t.

“Hey,” you greeted. “Are you going to the party?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged.

“I was going there, we can go together.” You offered and Daryl nodded, but he didn’t move, and so you sat down next to him. You were going to be even later, but there was no way you could walk away from Daryl and just leave him like that. “Do you want to go?” You asked him softly and he shook his head. “Then don’t.”

“Aaron told me to try, and Rick wants us to integrate and all that. But I don’t know if I can, I don’t belong in here, told you…” He shrugged shyly again. “Don’t know what’s the point. Don’t know if I want to try or if I should just leave. It wouldn’t matter anymore anyway.”

Your heart fell hearing him speak. You knew he wasn’t doing good in Alexandria, that he didn’t feel like he could fit in, but saying him say those things were killing, you didn’t know it was that bad.

“Don’t say that, please.” You begged him, reaching out to take his hand in yours. “You belong with your family, I told you, nothing has changed. We’re a new place, and it’s strange but it’s safe, it’s good,” you tried to assure him. “There are new people, and I know they’re strange too, but that doesn’t mean they’re bad, we’ll get to know them, just like we did with Rosita, and Abraham, and Tara, maybe we’ll make friends…” Or like Daryl had done with you. “And if you left your family would be brokenhearted, you don’t know how much you mean for all of us? You’re Carol’s best friend, and you’re Rick’s brother, Judith adores you…” You listed. “I’d be brokenhearted too. So don’t even think it.”

Daryl’s thumb was stroking softly over the back of your hand, absentmindedly. “I won’t…just can’t help but feel like running away sometimes.”

“When you feel like that you come to me and we talk, okay? I’m here for you. Whenever.”

Daryl looked at you, giving you a weak, half-smile, and he nodded.

“We don’t have to go, we can stay here.” You offered him.

“You wanted to go, and I wanted to try.” He let out a sigh. “But I don’t know if anyone of these people would want me to go, I know what they think of me.”

“No you don’t, I know you’re good at reading people but you don’t actually read minds, that must be one of the few skills you don’t have.” You teased him softly, and Daryl scoffed, rolling his eyes, but he gave you that weak, small smile again. “Even if some of them might think stupid stuff, they stop once they get to know you. But give it time.”

“It’s not that I care what they think or nothing…” Daryl muttered defensively. “Just that I don’t fit in…”

“Remember the prison? Everyone admired you.” You reminded him. It’d seemed Daryl hadn’t really known what to do with that affection most of the time, making him awkward, but he had cared deeply about everyone in that prison. “People here will like you too once they know you. Maybe some of them would even crush on you, I wouldn’t be surprised.” You joked, though the idea made your heart ache a bit.

“Yeah, sure.” Daryl scoffed, shaking his head as if it was ridiculous.

“What? Once someone gets to know you, it’s hard not to get a crush on you.” You admitted, shrugging shyly.

Daryl looked at you at that, frowning and looking like a thousand thoughts were running through his brain, though he didn’t say anything, not at first. “You do?” He rasped, barely audible.

You nodded, feeling your cheeks burn. Daryl didn’t say anything, looking away from you and still frowning, thoughtful. “Look, Daryl, let’s not make things awkward or weird, okay?” You pleaded. “What I meant is that you don’t have anything to worry about, everyone will see your worth, forget about silly crushes and whatnot, it doesn’t matter.”

It didn’t seem Daryl was letting it go, though. “I…I don’t know if I could make a relationship work. But I think maybe I’d like to try with you…dunno…”

You smiled sadly at that. “You’re sweet, but you don’t have to say or do nothing like that just because I told you that. It’s okay.”

“Ain’t that.” Daryl shook his head, looking at you. “I mean it. I can’t promise you I’d be good at it or it’d work. But I like you, and it’s not because you’re my friend, so I’d try, if you want to.”

“I want to.” You nodded, your heart beating crazy even though you still felt unsure about the whole thing, and about Daryl’s feelings, as it was a bit hard to believe. “But I need to know that you really want it.”

“I do,” Daryl assured, though he looked away. “It kind of feels as if you weren’t only my friend anyway, it has for a while…just…I wasn’t sure…” He trailed off, shrugging shyly.

You knew what he meant, you felt it too. You couldn’t help your smile, even though you were still a bit nervous. “Let’s try it, then, if you’re sure. We don’t have to rush anything, just…let’s see how things go.” You were still uncertain, but you knew that if you didn’t at least try, you’d regret it.

Daryl nodded, giving you half-smile. You didn’t know what to do. You wondered if maybe you should kiss him, or say something else…finally you decided to just let things flow.

“What do you think, you want us to go to that party together?” You asked, smiling.

Daryl nodded and you got up, reaching out your hand for him. He took it and you helped him onto his feet, and hand in hand, you walked together towards Deanna’s house.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this one-shot, I’ll be posting more one-shots and requested drabbles during all August. Drop me a comment if you have time!
> 
> As always, english is not my mother language, so sorry if there are mistakes.


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